Sunday, July 25, 2010

The ridiculously voluptuous Winter Olympics Stephen Marche Comment is free

Tanith Belbin

Tanith Belbin and Benjamin Agosto perform a Moldovan folk dance in the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. Photograph: Anatoly Maltsev/EPA

Now that the Winter Olympics are over, and the assorted inhabitant vanities have been possibly assuaged or deflated, we can concentration on the majority critical and impending subject of Vancouver 2010: Who was the sexiest contestant there?

The Winter Olympics are approach hotter than the Summer Olympics, even if everybody is wearing woolies. The sports are riskier and as a result sexier. Now that I"ve seen what a downhill march looks like, I am vacant that people indispensable to invent bungie jumping or the Jackass franchise. Why order a new form of adrenaline-pumping self-destruction when there are preexisting methods that concede you to consequence medals? Have you seen the womanlike structure of the body medallists? If they"re peaceful to take their bodies to such an impassioned dilemma in public, what contingency they do when they"re at the behind of sealed doors?

In the margin of human beauty, as in the margin of sport, viewable frontrunners arise early. In the bars and coffee shops of Canada (at slightest the ones that I frequent) a accord about the dual womanlike beauty-leaders has emerged. One) Tanith Belbin, the impossibly cheekboned, huge-eyed partner of Ben Agosto, who accomplished fourth in the ice-dancing and Two) Julia Mancuso, the American skier who is all an American skier should be, next to tools glorious and heartiness, as though her each proton was done up of uninformed breath. I would additionally similar to to suggest dual lower-profile athletes who are not as monotonously Valkyrian: Three) Kimiko Zakreski, a Canadian snowboarder who should have been expel as an elfin princess in Lord of the Rings and Four) Stella Heiss, the lead for the German women"s curling team, who seems never to be smiling, regularly at limit intensity. She additionally has the majority pleasing hair I have ever seen.

For the men, it"s not even a contest. The leader has to be Bode Miller, the American skier. Besides carrying clever manly facilities and a ideally exquisite face, he additionally has that diabolical multiple of a bad-boy repute and a winning record. Everyone else is fighting for second place. I would similar to to put brazen Eric Staal, the immature Canadian hockey player, and the Dutch skater Sven Kramer. They"re both preposterously, roughly ethereally beautiful, similar to enchanting leopards who have taken on human form, but they have flaws. Eric Staal is a hockey player, and so kick up. Kramer has one of those skaters" asses. Other options: Switzerland"s contented and friendly Stephane Lambiel, and, if you similar to that sort of thing, the rarely ethereal and rose-garlanded American skater Johnny Weir.

All the athletes that competed at the Vancouver games are ridiculously sexy, of course. Even bald Kevin Martin, right away strictly the biggest curler who ever lived, has that sure smell of value about him that is pristine horniness. And there were 2,000 of these athletes. From each dilemma of the world. With a slight over-representation from Scandinavia. All in a village. And they were usually going to be together for dual weeks. And afterwards they were never going to see each alternative again.

No consternation VANOC had to have an puncture call for some-more condoms to fill the burned out bonds in the last days of the games. Today, a lot of pleasing immature people are smiling on their approach behind home.

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